Friday, June 25, 2010
moved.
something i tried to do long time ago, but finally done.
this blog would no longer be updated.
find me if u really like reading my posts.
;)
or if you're just too damn lazy here it is
new link
this blog would no longer be updated.
find me if u really like reading my posts.
;)
or if you're just too damn lazy here it is
new link
outburst noted at 9:12 PM
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Wednesday, June 23, 2010
FUCK YOU!
now the fucking college is sending me mails for an overdue book which returned on time days ago!
:@ ARRRRRRRGH!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PPL AT APIIT
SERIOUSLY!
if u cant fucking build and institute to function well, why the hell are you running that place!?!?!
:@ ARRRRRRRGH!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PPL AT APIIT
SERIOUSLY!
if u cant fucking build and institute to function well, why the hell are you running that place!?!?!
outburst noted at 3:30 PM
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APIIT/UCTI’s fucked up Attendance Record System
Unlike most colleges in Malaysia, APIIT/UCTI has a strict rule about students having to have their attendance above 80% for each subject in order to sit for the exam. There is another rule from the Immigration Department of Malaysia which doesn’t allow students with an overall attendance average below 80% to renew their student visas.
I went to renew my visa today, applied the form to be informed that my overall attendance is 75% and I have to write a letter to the Immigration Department. I knew this was coming, one of the reasons I’ve been freaking out lately, one of my nightmares became a reality.
I told the VISA lady at the counter that my attendance was not being updated by the lecturers. For semester two, one whole subject/module is totally missing from the web attendance sheet students are given to check. For another module, the lecturer only updated 29 classes. Since we have 3 classes per week, and each semester is for 4 months, where the hell did the rest 15 – 20 classes vanish into? Where was my attendance when I attended the classes? And this is just two modules.
The attendance system in APIIT is bullshit. The Admin personnel blame the lecturer’s while the lecturer’s go and blame the system for not updating. But the fault is with both. Some lecturer’s are too damn lazy to update into the system sometimes and the Admin are too lazy to actually check with the lecturers. Seriously what the hell kind of people are these and why are they hiring them and kicking out students who really want to study?!
I was someone who had to deal with a shit load of bullshit in order to attend classes with repeated illnesses and all that fucked up nonsense I had to live with. But somehow I managed to attend. I do calculate classes I go everyday with an excel sheet I prepared at home. And that would have been over 80% if they updated it! Even if I missed classes.
Today they calculated my overall average without considering one whole module I attended and a lot of other MC’s I submitted which was never updated from the system. I could have easily gotten an 80% but they are too damn fucked up to even consider checking it up for me when I have clear evidence that I went to those classes just close enough to get me that percentage.
Now where the hell do I run into when my visa doesn’t get approved and who would believe me when I explain them the real reasons behind my absent days? Nobody will! Seriously FUCK YOU! ASSHOLES!
After a long time I wanted to study and came here to study but this is fucking ruining my life. As if nobody wants me to study. Nobody is letting me! I was better off in Maldives even with the low paid salary! At least I enjoyed doing it without having to tolerate all this bullshit.
And people who don’t understand my situation, don’t even dare to say something at me or to this post because I fucking don’t care about what you have to say! FUCK YOU! Everyone! Who is fucking ruining my fucking life!!!!
I went to renew my visa today, applied the form to be informed that my overall attendance is 75% and I have to write a letter to the Immigration Department. I knew this was coming, one of the reasons I’ve been freaking out lately, one of my nightmares became a reality.
I told the VISA lady at the counter that my attendance was not being updated by the lecturers. For semester two, one whole subject/module is totally missing from the web attendance sheet students are given to check. For another module, the lecturer only updated 29 classes. Since we have 3 classes per week, and each semester is for 4 months, where the hell did the rest 15 – 20 classes vanish into? Where was my attendance when I attended the classes? And this is just two modules.
The attendance system in APIIT is bullshit. The Admin personnel blame the lecturer’s while the lecturer’s go and blame the system for not updating. But the fault is with both. Some lecturer’s are too damn lazy to update into the system sometimes and the Admin are too lazy to actually check with the lecturers. Seriously what the hell kind of people are these and why are they hiring them and kicking out students who really want to study?!
I was someone who had to deal with a shit load of bullshit in order to attend classes with repeated illnesses and all that fucked up nonsense I had to live with. But somehow I managed to attend. I do calculate classes I go everyday with an excel sheet I prepared at home. And that would have been over 80% if they updated it! Even if I missed classes.
Today they calculated my overall average without considering one whole module I attended and a lot of other MC’s I submitted which was never updated from the system. I could have easily gotten an 80% but they are too damn fucked up to even consider checking it up for me when I have clear evidence that I went to those classes just close enough to get me that percentage.
Now where the hell do I run into when my visa doesn’t get approved and who would believe me when I explain them the real reasons behind my absent days? Nobody will! Seriously FUCK YOU! ASSHOLES!
After a long time I wanted to study and came here to study but this is fucking ruining my life. As if nobody wants me to study. Nobody is letting me! I was better off in Maldives even with the low paid salary! At least I enjoyed doing it without having to tolerate all this bullshit.
And people who don’t understand my situation, don’t even dare to say something at me or to this post because I fucking don’t care about what you have to say! FUCK YOU! Everyone! Who is fucking ruining my fucking life!!!!
Labels: Anger, apiit, attendance, immigration, shit, visa
outburst noted at 2:23 PM
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what 6 peepz say about this...
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
1223
after 3 days of hell, the 3 hours this afternoon felt like heaven...
you are the only reason i believe in myself now.
one can only hope when life leads you to fucked up roads.
trying to hold on, hoping, waiting...
for the next encounter.
you are the only reason i believe in myself now.
one can only hope when life leads you to fucked up roads.
trying to hold on, hoping, waiting...
for the next encounter.
Labels: bebby, Loneliness, Love, Miss, Sad
outburst noted at 10:16 PM
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fucked up shit, arrrrrgh
Everyone thinks that having your mom beside you while you are studying abroad is the best thing that could happen to them, well yes, I do agree up to an extent. If you are a lazy bum and love to see someone make you food, someone clean your mess wash and iron your clothes, etc. But that doesn’t count if your mom is living in your room or actually disturbing you so much that you can’t focus on your studies and is unable to work at all!
That’s my case. Well just 20% of it. She’s here, I love it, I’m happy. I am, really. But am I being selfish wanting a room of my own so that I can sleep at peace? Study and work at hours I feel like studying? Taking small breaks to watch series, eating food whenever I want? Taking naps after class and sleeping whenever I want and have no one else to nag me all the frikkin time? This is just a small idea of things I wish I had, which I don’t. The real list? we’ll it’s going to take me the whole night to write.
My friends say I’m talking all this crap because I miss spending time with my boyfriend. Well, they know too much about me. Atleast they think they do. I really should re-consider my circle of friends. Well who wouldn’t miss their boyfriends whom they were spending almost 24 hours with when they just suddenly go away? But is that all I’m worrying about? NO!
Nobody understands the living conditions I’m in, nobody understands how much I had to tolerate the past couple of months I’ve been living here, nobody ever will. The maggots, unwashed dishes, garbage smell, expenditures, shouting’s, migraines every night, lack of sleep, missing class, etc. That was one week back. But add my mom’s worries and shouting’s at me regarding every one of these things. How she can’t tolerate this place and how she can’t afford to get me a new place and how she is fighting with my brothers while they are asking her to reconsider since I can’t study and how bored she is when I go to college, how her plans are to consider staying with me in my room for the rest of my 3 years of degree and aaaaargggh. I don’t want to go through this hell for another 3 years!! It’s just been 3 days and its driving me nuts.
Who asked her to come here? I agreed cuz I’m a lazy bum and thought it would be frikkin easy for me, since she is coming in time for the exams that I wouldn’t have to worry about the food and everything else since she would be helping me. But the pain in my arse has worsened double to triple during this past week.
Seriously, if I’d ever be serious about suicide, at this rate I’d be doing it very soon.
And don’t fucking judge me cause u don’t know half the story of my tormented life!
That’s my case. Well just 20% of it. She’s here, I love it, I’m happy. I am, really. But am I being selfish wanting a room of my own so that I can sleep at peace? Study and work at hours I feel like studying? Taking small breaks to watch series, eating food whenever I want? Taking naps after class and sleeping whenever I want and have no one else to nag me all the frikkin time? This is just a small idea of things I wish I had, which I don’t. The real list? we’ll it’s going to take me the whole night to write.
My friends say I’m talking all this crap because I miss spending time with my boyfriend. Well, they know too much about me. Atleast they think they do. I really should re-consider my circle of friends. Well who wouldn’t miss their boyfriends whom they were spending almost 24 hours with when they just suddenly go away? But is that all I’m worrying about? NO!
Nobody understands the living conditions I’m in, nobody understands how much I had to tolerate the past couple of months I’ve been living here, nobody ever will. The maggots, unwashed dishes, garbage smell, expenditures, shouting’s, migraines every night, lack of sleep, missing class, etc. That was one week back. But add my mom’s worries and shouting’s at me regarding every one of these things. How she can’t tolerate this place and how she can’t afford to get me a new place and how she is fighting with my brothers while they are asking her to reconsider since I can’t study and how bored she is when I go to college, how her plans are to consider staying with me in my room for the rest of my 3 years of degree and aaaaargggh. I don’t want to go through this hell for another 3 years!! It’s just been 3 days and its driving me nuts.
Who asked her to come here? I agreed cuz I’m a lazy bum and thought it would be frikkin easy for me, since she is coming in time for the exams that I wouldn’t have to worry about the food and everything else since she would be helping me. But the pain in my arse has worsened double to triple during this past week.
Seriously, if I’d ever be serious about suicide, at this rate I’d be doing it very soon.
And don’t fucking judge me cause u don’t know half the story of my tormented life!
Labels: Anger, angry, Fucked Up, Mad, malaysia, Me, mom, shit, studies
outburst noted at 9:56 PM
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Friday, June 18, 2010
a few hours left.
Life doesn’t always give us everything we want. We have to lose some, to gain some.
outburst noted at 6:58 PM
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Saturday, June 5, 2010
just some thoughts
Seriously why do men think that us women could be bought off? And that too with expensive/luxurious gifts?
Maybe some women who are known as “gold-diggers” use men for their prized possessions, or other women who fulfills a man’s hopes in return of something pricey, who are commonly known as “prostitutes” may do this. But not every ordinary woman you meet on the street is a thirsty gold digger or a filthy whore! But why can’t men get this?
Men think that by giving women gifts they would just forgive them for the things they done? That the women would forgive them for the countless number of times they’ve let them down? Or the numerous occasions where they ignored their feelings could be bought off with expensive gifts?
Seriously, when people do that we feel like whores. Like prostitutes, as if all we do for them, all the love and taking care of them we do out of love, is for a charge? We don’t charge them! And even though they don’t give us money, trying to cover up their mistakes by giving them gifts is saying the same thing! Gives out the same meaning!
I’m not saying women do not fancy expensive gifts, or gifts for that matter. They do. But not as a cover up, or pay off material. Maybe for an occasional birthday. Or an anniversary. Gifts they give out of love, not to please the woman because the guy probably made her angry!?
We are just ordinary human beings, why can’t men get that anything they do out of love, any gesture, even if it’s just asking how we are feeling, is a way they can make us happy? Or just by giving us a hand while we do our work, or helping us out in the household activities would brighten up our day much more than any expensive gift they could give us?
Seriously guys, think before u go off and buy that expensive gift for your woman. Are you buying that to get out of trouble? As a payoff for the work she does for you? Or just to make her feel appreciated while u make her feel loved in other ways? Think.
Maybe some women who are known as “gold-diggers” use men for their prized possessions, or other women who fulfills a man’s hopes in return of something pricey, who are commonly known as “prostitutes” may do this. But not every ordinary woman you meet on the street is a thirsty gold digger or a filthy whore! But why can’t men get this?
Men think that by giving women gifts they would just forgive them for the things they done? That the women would forgive them for the countless number of times they’ve let them down? Or the numerous occasions where they ignored their feelings could be bought off with expensive gifts?
Seriously, when people do that we feel like whores. Like prostitutes, as if all we do for them, all the love and taking care of them we do out of love, is for a charge? We don’t charge them! And even though they don’t give us money, trying to cover up their mistakes by giving them gifts is saying the same thing! Gives out the same meaning!
I’m not saying women do not fancy expensive gifts, or gifts for that matter. They do. But not as a cover up, or pay off material. Maybe for an occasional birthday. Or an anniversary. Gifts they give out of love, not to please the woman because the guy probably made her angry!?
We are just ordinary human beings, why can’t men get that anything they do out of love, any gesture, even if it’s just asking how we are feeling, is a way they can make us happy? Or just by giving us a hand while we do our work, or helping us out in the household activities would brighten up our day much more than any expensive gift they could give us?
Seriously guys, think before u go off and buy that expensive gift for your woman. Are you buying that to get out of trouble? As a payoff for the work she does for you? Or just to make her feel appreciated while u make her feel loved in other ways? Think.
Labels: Gifts, Love, men, prostitutes, relationships, whore, women
outburst noted at 4:22 PM
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Saturday, May 15, 2010
up-hell-date!
Its been a while since I rambled about something in here. Sometimes too much in your mind makes it harder to get them out. Anyways, here’s an update of my current situation. Read at your own risk.
Peace out!
- Caught up with a earlier defeated disease which took me more than 2 years, and its getting worse by day.
- House situations are a little better considering the “noise” level, but the place stinks like hell and its worse than ever with stuff I haven’t written in here. I really wish I was rich enough to get myself an apartment alone!
- With health conditions and other troubles, money is in a very very tight situation.
- My worried sick parents aren’t helping any of it.
- The thought that I have to go back to the hell hole in 2 months is just another thing that’s freaking me out!
- More than 20 series I watch is having their season finale’s this month! I really think I’ll go nuts quite soon!
- I hate surprises, and I don’t want my mother to drop on me un-announced and to stay in my room. How can I study with her around? It’s like ill be a kid to her and she won’t understand I need to sleep n wake up at my own schedule without someone bossing me around!! And I can’t tell this to her either. Sucks.
- And to top that off due to money troubles, I’m trying to eat save for a doctor’s appointment by eating crap, tolerating my migraine by walking in the sun to college since the bus never comes on time, and there’s toooooooo much on my mind if I keep writing my mind would blast off!!!!!!
Peace out!
Labels: diary entries, Mad, Madness, money, Ramblings, random madness, rants, Sad, Sickness, updates
outburst noted at 7:57 PM
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Monday, May 3, 2010
nostalgia *sigh*
You can let the days go by, let the memories fade, let time help to heal you until you’ve let all go. Until you don’t remember any of it on an ordinary day.
But when you do remember it, the second that it takes your memories flying, when the nostalgia hits you,
It comes as a sweet bitch.
Image: [flickr]
Labels: Life, me and my thoughts, memories, relationships
outburst noted at 11:08 AM
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Sunday, May 2, 2010
"The cellphone theory"
I used to wear my phone around my neck. I carried it everywhere I go or else I would end up keeping it somewhere, in a shop or at work and end up losing my phone. I had no problem with it since I can buy a new phone, but on request to my mom, to be safe, I wore it around my neck.
My mom developed a theory out of this saying, the way you handle a phone is the way how you handle your boyfriend/husband. I didn’t pay that much attention to it back then cause I thought she was joking, but now when I think about, it totally makes sense man!
Imagine, a person who keeps on changing their phones, they usually have a lot of partners. A person who takes care of their phone like use a cover and stuff, most of the time manages their relationships very well. On the other hand a person who keeps on changing old phones with latest ones non-stop seems to move on from flower to flower. And people who break their phones so they could get a new phone most of the time, find excuses to end their relationships, maybe cheat on each other.
So according to my mom, I kept losing my phone and I kept loosing boyfriends too, I was too damn careless since I knew I could always buy another phone. It was weirdly true. I just thought of a few of my other friends and their phone status, and it even was figuratively true. This is fun! And weird at the same time. Hmmm… wonder about you guys reading this…
My mom developed a theory out of this saying, the way you handle a phone is the way how you handle your boyfriend/husband. I didn’t pay that much attention to it back then cause I thought she was joking, but now when I think about, it totally makes sense man!
Imagine, a person who keeps on changing their phones, they usually have a lot of partners. A person who takes care of their phone like use a cover and stuff, most of the time manages their relationships very well. On the other hand a person who keeps on changing old phones with latest ones non-stop seems to move on from flower to flower. And people who break their phones so they could get a new phone most of the time, find excuses to end their relationships, maybe cheat on each other.
So according to my mom, I kept losing my phone and I kept loosing boyfriends too, I was too damn careless since I knew I could always buy another phone. It was weirdly true. I just thought of a few of my other friends and their phone status, and it even was figuratively true. This is fun! And weird at the same time. Hmmm… wonder about you guys reading this…
Labels: cell phone, me and my thoughts, mobile phone, mom, random madness, theories
outburst noted at 9:56 PM
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what 5 peepz say about this...
